We get a lot of emails from people who are in long-distance relationships and want to know how to deal with fights. Couples who live far apart can have a lot of trouble with fights and arguments. It’s very hard to be in this situation! Teeanime will show you how to make your long-distance lover stop being angry in this blog.
Are the fights becoming a problem for you and your partner?
Some people tell us they enjoy arguing with their long-distance relationship. They believe their relationship is stronger and more exciting as a result of their conflicts. They believe that a relationship isn’t “genuine” unless there are disagreements. If you feel the same way and enjoy fighting with your spouse — including the name-calling, crying, fury, pouting, breaking up, and making up afterwards — this post is not for you. This is for people who dislike arguing and are concerned that arguments are becoming a serious issue in their relationship.
Long-distance relationships might be more stressful than people anticipate. When your days are hectic and you don’t have enough time for each other, tensions rise. This is frequently when couples recognize that they are fighting more frequently than they would want.
It’s time for a heart-to-heart talk!
Taking a step back and remembering that you’re both on the same side can be beneficial. You have many of the same goals (ideally! ), you love each other, and you want your relationship to succeed. It can be beneficial to have a “heart-to-heart” conversation regarding the relationship. Choose a time when you are both calm and relaxed to do this. Inform your partner that you’ve seen the conflicts getting worse. That’s an excellent place to start if you’re both aware of the problem and want to try to solve it. Remember why you started dating in the first place; everything you like about each other. Then, try not to allow the disagreements distract you from what’s truly essential in your long-distance relationship.
Arguments aren’t always a sign that a relationship is doomed. Don’t assume that breaking up is the only option, since it isn’t.
Try to break the habit of fighting
It takes some practice to stop the habit of fighting, but it is possible. If you see an argument brewing, try to recognize the warning signals and make a conscious effort to end it. It can help to say something like, “I love you. Let’s not quarrel about this”. Then, either change the subject or agree to end the conversation, take a brief pause. Go do something different for ten minutes, thirty minutes, or however long you require. Return when both of you have calmed down and are ready to chat again.
Try to recognize “risk times,” when discussing sensitive topics is not a good idea. For example, if your partner has had a long day at work, or if either of you is up at 2:00 a.m. Use caution when bringing up sensitive topics. Expect your finest chats to take place when one of you is exhausted or stressed out at work.
Take time to listen
Giving each other more room to converse might also be beneficial at times. Allow each other to speak without being interrupted. Two persons trying to converse at the same time creates a lot of pressure. Because both spouses are continuously interrupting each other, no one is genuinely listening. They yell because they can’t even hear what they’re thinking! Allow each other time to speak and listen without interfering. You might be surprised at how many things you actually agree on.
Remember that it is not necessary to agree on every topic under the sun. You’re both individuals, which means you can have opposing viewpoints and ways of looking at things. If you disagree on something, don’t always try to persuade your partner to see things your way. Respect each other enough to “agree to disagree” on trivial matters. Don’t pick disputes over petty issues that you’re unlikely to agree on.
When the words get too noisy, try writing things down
If your anger has taken over and you can’t converse without yelling at each other, writing can sometimes help. Send an email to each other! Write up your feelings regarding anything you’re debating over in great detail. Take the time to read each other’s messages and reflect on what has been stated. It’s about giving each other space to speak and being willing to listen to each other. It is frequently more important to listen to your partner than to talk to them. Not merely hearing their words, but genuinely listening and attempting to comprehend them.
Are there important things you really need to talk about?
If you’re continuously battling over the same issues, it’s time for a Big Conversation. Find a time when you’re both calm enough to chat to each other. The key to resolving a disagreement is to let go of your rage and consider what you’re actually disagreeing about. Determine the source of the disagreement… and then determine whether or not it is fixable. It’s also important to understand that not every situation has an immediate solution.
Remember that you can’t change what happened in the past while you’re arguing about it. If something occurred, it occurred. You must concentrate on dealing with it as a group. Talk about it, clear up any misunderstandings, apologize if needed, and forgive if possible… then move on to the future. Avoid arguing about little matters because not everything is worth worrying about. Most importantly, avoid overthinking. Overthinking is the root of many disputes in long-distance relationships. It causes jealousy and a great deal of distress. If you’re not careful, you can find yourself arguing about things that either never happened or haven’t happened yet. Take care not to let your mind run wild and cause more problems than you already have.
Keep it constructive, not destructive
Always keep in mind that the enemy here is the distance, not your companion. If you’re choosing to stay in a relationship, you must be doing so for a cause, right? It is not improper to have disagreements. Most couples have disagreements from time to time. The key is to turn a debate into something beneficial. Make it a point to give each other the opportunity to speak and be heard. Try to keep your debates constructive rather than harmful. Don’t lash out and call your partner names in an attempt to hurt them. Once stated, words cannot be taken back. Cruel remarks will linger in the mind of your partner long after the disagreement has ended, generating unnecessary hurt and insecurity.
Fight the distance, not each other
Some long-distance couples do not make it through the disputes and decide that the stress is no longer worth it. That’s okay some of the time; you get to pick whether or not the connection is right for you. However, if you want it to work, you must treat all challenges as shared ones. Then try to remain cool and work together to solve them. Rather than clashes and disputes, opt for dialogues. Respect your partner’s viewpoint by listening to what they have to say. Respond calmly, and be prepared to apologize, forgive, and perhaps accept a compromise. After all, being in your relationship is a decision. If you decide to stay together, it makes sense to treat each other with dignity and kindness. Fight the distance rather than each other – and do it together.
EMOTIONAL Long distance relationship meetups/surprises
Source : Orange
Thanks for reading!